using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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