It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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