I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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