how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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