hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
