i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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