Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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