I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
what day is it and did you see me today?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
