they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
