it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
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