I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
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Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
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We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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