You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
