If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
