Kiss
Puke
how can u be prego again
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
