you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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