Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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