No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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