That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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