the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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