Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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