Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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