love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
