You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm both gender and math confused
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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