This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
