is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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