i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
