I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
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