My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
