have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize