Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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