Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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