did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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