My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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