Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
