Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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