Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
