I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
