If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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