just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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