Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
