Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe