Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?