Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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