Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
