Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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