Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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