If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
