Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
