Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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