Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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