I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
This is my life. Enjoy the view
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
