I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
