ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
