My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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