yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize