Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
