I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
