i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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