In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
