I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
