Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
